i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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