do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
