hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
