I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
