i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
