I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
