Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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