did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize