This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't deserve a penis
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
