She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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