Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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