I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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