I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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