Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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