On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
