Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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