I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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