life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
