I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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