There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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