I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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