turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
