the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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