She announced her abortion via fbk
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
