how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
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After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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