youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
