porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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