Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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