areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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