You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
