I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
