none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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