he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
