yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
