i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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