I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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