do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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