come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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