if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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