guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
