I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
