When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
