As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
