never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize