I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
