I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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