do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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