just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
