everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
