This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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