I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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