well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
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Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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