respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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