did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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