I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
