thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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