So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
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How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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