I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
