You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
