Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
