Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
