We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm just crazy horny about you
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize