I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize