I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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