My cat gives me a boner
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
