I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
