I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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